For the longest time I was stuck with an “acquaintanceship” that was, well stuck. I couldn’t move forward with it, couldn’t move back. I don’t quite know when or how the resistance arose – was it me? Was it her? All I know was that the feelings were strained and the antipathy I felt seemed based only on the antipathy I felt from her.

I realized after a time, that this no win, no-mans land of emotional barrenness would be here to stay unless I did something about it. I couldn’t ask her directly what I’d done, it wasn’t like that. I couldn’t apologize – it was nothing like that. Couldn’t demand apology, what had she really done to me? And yet the discord between us rippled electrically every time she turned her head away when I walked by.

Instead, I decided to take spiritual action. I literally turned inward to turn outward. I prayed for her. I saw her face in my mind and I envisaged every blessing imaginable entering into her life - a veritable rainbow of joys.

And yet, even as I visualized her, her expression remained surly and uncompromising. My blessings rained down without effect. Finally, heart  fully opened to her like a sunflower in brilliant bloom, I simply asked for forgiveness. There was no other recourse. I knew that somewhere deep inside, she hurt and I had caused this, unknowingly but irrevocably.

My forgiveness received a reaction. In my mind’s eye, I watched as she strode back into her house, apparently turning her back on me, even here in this spiritual place of my inner being. I stared aghast at her receding back until I noticed her front door left invitingly open. I followed her into the privacy of her imagined home (a place I’d never visited in the ‘real’ world) and there before me, she stood, smile on face, eyes beaming joy, arms extended towards a large, table heaving with food, set for a party, a party for me.

When I left my vision, left my prayer, my heart felt open, felt peaceful, felt a flow that had been missing for a while. The prayers that had sought to heal the impasse between us, had apparently healed the impasse in me.

The next day, whilst driving my car, I happened to see her sitting alone drinking coffee at the edge of a park that our kids use. I pulled over, appreciating the beauty of the moment that God had deemed me. I walked toward her, smiled and initiated small talk.

We chatted for a while. Found out more about each other’s children, found out more about ourselves. Found out that we shared more in common than I had ever expected. As we talked, I noticed how the crows’ feet around her eyes mirrored my own - crows’ feet that pointed to the years behind us, pointed to past laughter, pointed to the fact we are two ordinary women, two mothers, two wives, two beautiful spirits doing the best that we can on this physical journey we call life.

As my car pulled away from the parking lot later that evening, with the last of the sun’s rays pouring gently down from heaven, I reflected upon the power of prayer to straighten and lengthen and strengthen our lives, and how when we can truly let go and let God – we immediately find our flow.

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